Music 101: VMAs

So every year in September we sit down glued to our TVs watching the Mtv Video Music Awards, aka the VMAs. And every year I watch it and just sit there the whole time mumbling, so and so should have won or what the hell is this shit, well now thanks to blogger listen to my rants and raves while I watch Air Bud.
Break Through Video:
I agree with them on this the Black Key’s Video for Tighten Up is amazing, it’s simple and tells the story of two boys crushing on their school yard girl, which turns into the band members crushing on the mom of the little girl. Plus, “He smells like ranch!”
Best Special Effects:
Now, Muse won this one and I love me some Muse but their videos are always so over the top for me, their music is epic enough they do not need some crazy video to go with it. And, plus there was some awkward teddy bear stuff going on in the video that just killed it for me that ‘s why I believe that Dan Black’s video Symphonies should have won out of the nominees. The song it’s self is rather simple and then the video portrays different genres of movies and has the lyrics popping up in the different fonts and visuals to go along with the movie genres. The cleverness to the video is really fun and the song is pretty fun as well.
Best Editing:
Lady Gaga raped the VMAs she won pretty much anything and everything including this, Bad Romance is an amazing video but I wouldn’t give best editing to it, after watching Eminem’s Not Afraid I was convinced that it should have won, but then I watched Miike Snow’s Animals video. This video is like a wet dream for any hipster kid, but it’s not just that the editing in it is freaking awesome, the whole video portrays Miike’s identities through animals and such. It’s been done before with different concepts, but it’s still and fun idea and it is different on certain levels so it makes it fun and very well edited. And as for Rihanna’s Rude Boy’s video it should not even be in this category it should be in special effects and even then it shouldn’t be there. I miss when Rihanna was awesome, she starting become like Will I Am, I guess Chris hit her in the head a little too many times….too far?
Best Directing:
Again I agree with this, it’s Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. This video is a master piece, fucking college papers have been written over the video analyzing it, ‘nuff said.
Best Cinematography:
Jay-Z and Alecia Keys straight up captured the essence of New York in their video for Empire State of mind, honestly this video is perfect, you watch it in awe the whole time. Good job Jay-Z for beasting it up like always.
Best Choreography:
I was digging Video Phone and rooting for it just for the fact of how well Lady Gaga took Beyonce’s style and went all bootylicious, and as for Usher all his moves are the same as the late Michael Jackson, and then there’s Telephone which also an amazing feet of dancing and of course the winner Bad Romance, but I disagree, Janelle Monae’s video for Tightrope beats the pants or shoes off everybody in the room. Her foot work looks like she is merely sliding on a floor buttered down, but she does it so smooth and sleek that makes you feel like anyone could do it. She has the funky and soulful feel to her music and dancing, it’s refreshing to see someone bringing back some good ole soul.
Video of the Year:
Bad Romance seriously needs to chill out, this video is like on steroids and raping everyone and anyone at the VMA’s, needless to say it also won Video of the Year, and yet again I disagree. Bad Romance was amazing I couldn’t praise it enough honestly, but when it comes to Lady Gaga videos of last year and what one was the best I’d give it to Telephone. B.o.B and Eminem’s videos are amazing for rap artist but over all they are nothing special, and I can’t even start to watch the 30 Seconds to Mars video because I know it’s going to be 9 minutes of pretentious amazing cinematography, though I did try, was not impressed. If I’m going to watch a 9 minute long video, again I’m going with Telephone. This video is a an epic display of epic-epicness. From beginning to end the video is not only a perfect music video but a perfect form of movie making in general. It tells a story, it’s visually interesting, it has a resolve, it’s entertaining, and makes you want to watch it again. From it’s homage to 50’s stars, to Kill Bill the video is chuck full of cool little things, also Lady Gaga teaches you how to poison people.
Best Rock Video:
The Winner was 30 Seconds to Mars, honestly I hated all the videos nominated. I think Foxy Shazam’s Oh Lord should have won, but it came out in 2010 cross your fingers for next year.
Best Pop Video:
Dear jesus Lady Gaga won this one as well with Bad Romance I’m sure she could feed a whole country just from the money that one song has made. Just because I’m fucking tired of Bad Romance winning everything I’m going with Ke$ha on this one, just for the fact that she wakes up in a bath tub on some suburban family, rides a gold bike, steals a radio from some kids, and then drives around town in a gold Trans Am…what else could you want?
Best Male Video:
Eminem won this round, and out of all the nominees I can see why, for me though if you want to go with best Male Video go check out my Boy Kid Cudi on Pursuit of Happiness, that’s where it’s at.
Best Hip Hop Video:
Eminem has been winning awards for his videos for ever and day, and that’s because they are amazing, but this year I just wasn’t feeling Not Afraid. Like mentioned before, Kid Cudi should be the winner due to the fact he has everything a rap video needs. Booze and women. But, then there’s a nice change, he isn’t objecting the women or being obnoxiously drunk, the whole video is pretty much in slow motion and the way it’s shot is so different and visually interesting compared to most rap videos.
Best Female Video:
Bad Romance…I don’t even care anymore….

Best Dance Video:
Bad Romance…fucking really?! I get it, it’s a great video but chill the fuck out!
Best Collaboration:
Telephone with Lady Gaga and Beyonce, yesyesyesyesyesyes…it’s a perfect collab, the only thing more perfect is Kid Cudi and MGMT. I’m kinda burnt out on talking about Lady Gaga so that is why these post are shorter and shorter.
Best New Artist:
Finally something Lady Gaga can’t win because she already did, so who did it go to….Justin Bieber, fuck that. The past winners of Best New Artist are musicians like: Eminem (1999), Maroon 5 (2004), Arvil Lavigne (2002), do you see something in common with these people? They are talented. They are not just cute and poppy; no they are talented people who have worked hard to get to where they are, and still are working hard to produce new music. When I think of Best New Artist I think of some one that is doing something different to mainstream music, or at least standing out there, Justin Bieber is doing is making the same song that every pop singer is writing aka, the there’s a cute girl I want to date/fuck, that’s their formula. Where will Justin be once his balls drop and he actually starts singing like a man? All he’s done to music is bastardize it even further into a shit state it’s in, and make girls hit puberty faster. He looks like a lesbian, sounds like a lesbian, and even walks like one as well, my theory is he is actually a 30 something year old bull dyke living out every lesbians dream and having all of America wanting your dick….except HE’S 15! Open up Tiger Beat there he is shirtless, FUCK now I’m a pedophile chill out America. And Usher needs to chill out hanging out with young boys like Justin Bieber he’s following a little to close to Michael Jackson’s footsteps. So, who should of won? Broken Bells.