Chelsea

The most beautiful view is the one I share with you. ~Author Unknown

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Dissappear from you

Obsessions: B Movies

B movies are God’s grace to the movie industry because as much as I love a good serious movie like Donnie Darko, or those mega productions like Lord of the Rings at the end of the day when I want some mind numbing entertainment it’s B-Movies all the way. They are bloody, sexy, dirty, and everything else a good movie wants. They push the buttons that most movies would not push, mainly because of their low budget and the only people who are gonna watch them are movie freaks. These are not the movies you go out on date with, unless your date has good taste, or has no taste which ever way you look at it.

Some of my favorite B-Movies:

Toxic Avenger:
The story of a nerdy boy turned super hero after falling into toxic waste, oh yeah we’ve heard this story before but here’s the difference between Melivin (nerd) and Peter Parker he actually kills the bad guys. I’m sorry I love when bad guys die, they should die, all Super Man does is tie them to a pole.

Bitch Slap:
Three sexy bi-sexual women travel to the desert to steal $200 million dollars worth of diamonds.

Death Proof:

Two different groups of women are stalked by a murderous ex-stuntman who drives a “death proof” car.

Death Race 2000:
People race in a cross-country race where you get points by hitting pedestrians.

Repo The Genetic Opera:

A musical set in the future where people can finance organs to live longer lives, and can have their organs repoed like a car.

The ideas are simple, and the movies are simple, yet have a certain complex to them which makes you love them more.

Fun Facts about the movies:

Repo- Flashback sequences where shot on 16mm film instead of in HD.
Death Race 2000:Both Sylvester Stallone and David Carradine did much of their own driving. In addition, producer Roger Corman drove in scenes that were shot on public streets, since the custom-built cars used in the movie were not street legal and the film's stunt drivers did not want to be caught driving them by the police.
Death Proof:The film was physically scratched to achieve its dirty look, rather than digitally scratch the film footage.
Bitch Slap:inspired by the movies Dragstrip Girl, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, Kung Fu Nun, and the pantheon of blaxploitation films
Toxic Avenger:Patrick Kilpatrick who played Leroy (the face-painted criminal at the Mexican restaurant) quit the film after having to point a shotgun at a baby.

Weed and College

Today I skipped math because the lady in front of me smelled like cheap weed and it was making me cough. Then I met up with Arron and we talked about being gay, smoking weed, eating m&ms, sex, college, coffee, and the pros of living in Canada...If I lived in Canada here's what I'd do all day:

-Eat Waffles
-Smoke Weed
-Play Hockey

In no order



On another note; Auto Tune News, and OutQ radio us the only way I know about the news

On a lighter note

My mom is in the room right next to me, while I am on the desktop computer with music up load, and she decides to IM on Facebook...she could yell at me and I could hear her easily.


Reasons why my parents probably think I’m on dope:

10:19pm Mary
hi
10:19pm Me
hi
10:20pm Mary
r u in the loft cuz the lights are on
10:20pm Me
yes
10:21pm Mary
ok just remember to turn off lights. when you left yesterday all lights and tv were still on
10:21pm Me
it was the dog
10:22pm Mary
no the dog didn't do it unless we have a dog named emily
10:22pm Me
dont treat me like that
10:23pm Mary
u want a treat
10:23pm Me
no im gonna go pee you shoes
10:24pm Mary
u better not or i will pee your bed
10:24pm Me
already did

My big fat gay history lesson: Alexander the Great

When I was in 6th my teacher told us to go to the library and find a person in history and then learn about their life and write a report about them, for some reason I chose to write about Alexander the Great. I never really cared much for him, in fact I was still in my awkward anime stage in life and wanted to write about some samurai guy, but I could not find any books on him so I just settled for Alexander The Great. Ever since then he’s always been a topic of interest for me, the whole ideas and history of him is quite fascinating. So here’s a brief history lesson on Alexander the Great just incase you were asleep your sophomore year of high school.

Ahem: Alexander the Great, the King of Macedonia and conqueror of the Persian Empire and has been considered one of the greatest military geniuses of all times. Born from Phillip the second and his fourth wife Olympias, Alexander’s parents are pretty interesting people in themselves his mother for example was a devout member of a snake-worshiping “cult” and is even rumored to sleeping with snakes, and Phillip was a war-machine of death and destruction, and had seven wives. Not the most ideal parents, but through them Alexander gained traits like any kid does through their parents, through his mother he achieved a great sense of the ideas of destiny and paranoia, and through his father a competitive drive to always beat Phillip no matter what.

So lets gets into more cool shit about Alexander, he was tutored by philosopher Aristotle , succeeded Phillip after his assassination in 336 BC, after Phillip died all hell broke loose, countries that Phillip had taken over and united began to revolt. Once Alexander got wind of this he rouse 3,000 men to go and look into Thebes, Athens, Thessaly, and the Thracian tribes to the north of Macedon, once they came upon the Thessians, surrender and became part of Alexander’s troops as they rode towards Peloponnese, this continued until he reached the cities of Thermopylae, Corinth, and Athens. Once, in Corinth he heard of news of Thracian rising to the north, and that’s a no-no. So, you kind of get a brief idea that he does not put up with shit, he hears something is going down he gets to the bottom of it.

At 22 he now controls all the areas in Macedonia, and now has decided it is time to venture into Asia, with an army of 25,000 Macedonians, 7,600 Greeks, and 7,000 Thracians and Illyrians, soon the army went against theforces of King Darius III. There were 40,000 Persians and Greeks (20,000 each) waiting for them at the crossing of the river Granicus, near the city of Troy. (These Greeks had joined the Persians in the years following the defeat of the Greek army by Philip II at Chaeronea). He won, losing only 120 men, and destroying the Persian army, and the survivors? They were sent off to be laborers.

I could sit here all night telling you the stories of his battles so lets just condense them into bullets now:

The Campaigns in Asia Minor
-Alexander then led the army south across Asia Minor. The Greek coastal cities gave the greatest resistance to the Macedonians. Commander Memnon and his men slowed down the advance of Alexander and many Macedonians died during difficult sieges of the Greek cities of Halicarnassus, Miletus, Mylasa. But at the end the Macedonian army defeated the enemy and conquered the coast of Asia Minor. Alexander then turned northward to central Asia Minor, to the city of Gordium

The Battle of Issus
-30,000 Greeks again formed a sizable addition to the Darius' army as elite fighters and were positioned directly against the Macedonian phalanx. Darius's army outnumbered the Macedonians, but the Battle of Issus ended in a huge victory for Alexander. Thousands of Persians, Greeks, and other Asiatic soldiers were killed and King Darius left in panic before the Macedonian phalanx, abandoning his mother, wife, and children behind. (Alexander treated them with the respect out of consideration for their royalty)

The Sieges of Tyre and Gaza
-The victory at Issus opened the road for Syria and Phoenicia. In early 332, Alexander sent general Parmenio to occupy the Syrian cities and himself marched down the Phoenician coast where he received the surrender of all major cities except the island city of Tyre which refused to grant him access to sacrifice at the temple of the native Phoenician god Melcart. A very difficult seven-month siege of the city followed. In an enormous effort, the Macedonians begun building a mole that would connect the island-city with the coast. Tons of rocks and wood were poured into the water strip separating the island from the coast but its construction and the attacks from the city walls cost Alexander many of his bravest Macedonians. Although seriously tempted to lift the siege and continue marching on Egypt, Alexander did not abandon the project and continued the siege, surrounding the island with ships and blasting the city walls with catapults. When the walls finally gave in, the Macedonians poured their anger over the city defenders - 7,000 people were killed, 30,000 were sold as slaves. Alexander entered the temple of Melcart, and had his sacrifice. ( Pause real quick: During the seven-month siege of Tyre, Alexander received a letter from Darius offering a truce with a gift of several western provinces of the Persian Empire, but he refused to make peace unless he could have the whole empire. ) He continued marching south toward Egypt but was again held up by resistance at Gaza. The Macedonians put the city under a siege which lasted two months, after which the scenario of Tyre was repeated. With the fall of Gaza, the whole Eastern Mediterranean coast was now secured and firmly in the hands of the Macedonians. The mainland Greeks were hoping that the Persian navy and the Greek commander Memnon would land in Greece and help them launch a rebellion against Antipater's Macedonians, transfer the war into Macedonia itself, and cut off Alexander in Asia, but the sealing of the coast prevented this from happening. Then, Memnon fell sick and died while attempting to regain the lost Greek city of Miletus on the Asia Minor coast, and the Persian plan to transfer the war into Europe well apart.


Alexander in Egypt
-Alexander entered Egypt in the beginning of 331 BC. The Persian satrap surrendered and the Macedonians were welcomed by the Egyptians as liberators for they had despised living under Persian rule for almost two centuries.

The Battle of Gaugamela
-At Tyre, Alexander received reinforcements from Europe, reorganized his forces, and started for Babylon. He conquered the lands between rivers Tigris and Euphrates and found the Persian army at the plains of Gaugamela, near modern Irbil in Iraq, which according to the exaggerated accounts of antiquity was said to number a million men. Later on his troops spotted the lights from the Persian campfires and encouraged Alexander to lead his attack under cover of darkness. But he refused to take advantage this because he wanted to defeat Darius in an equally matched battle so that the Persian king would never again think to raise an army against him.At the beginning of the battle the Persian forces split and separated the two Macedonians wings. The wing of general Parmenio appeared to be backing down, but Alexander's cavalry rode straight after Darius and forced again his flight like he did at Issus. Darius fled to Ecbatana in Media, and Alexander stayed in Babylon, the Persian capital Persepolis, and was henceforth proclaimed king of Asia. Four months later, the Macedonians burned the royal palace in Persepolis, completing the end of the ancient Persian Empire
HUZZAH

Suppression of the Greek Rebellion, Discharge of the Greeks, and the Death of Darius
-Meanwhile in Greece, the Greeks under the leadership of Sparta rose to a rebellion against the Macedonian occupation.Antipater was in Thrace at the time and the Greeks took the opportunity to push back the Macedonian forces. But the victory did not last long as Antipater returned with a large army, defeated the rebels, and regained Greece. 5,300 Greeks, including the Spartan king Agis were killed, while the Macedonians lost 3,500 men. In Asia, the news of the Greek rebellion had Alexander so worried, that he immediately sent money to Antipater to counter it. And when he learned that the Greeks were defeated hedischarged all-Greek forces in his army. Alexander continued his pursuit of Darius for hundreds of miles from Persepolis. When he finally caught up to him, he found the Persian king dead in his coach. He was assassinated by Bessus, the satrap of Bactria which now proclaimed himself "King of the Kings", assuming the title of the Persian kings. Alexander gave Darius a royal funeral and set out for Bactria after his murderer.

The March on India
- In the spring of 327 BC, Alexander and his army marched into India invading Punjab. The greatest of Alexander's battles in India was at the river Hydaspes, against king Porus, one of the most powerful Indian rulers.In the summer of 326 BC, Alexander's army crossed the heavily defended river during a violent thunderstorm to meet Porus' forces. The Indians were defeated in a fierce battle, even though they fought with elephants, which the Macedonians had never seen before. The army continued advancing as far as the river Hydaspes but at this point the Macedonians refused to go farther as reports were coming of far more larger and dangerous armies ahead equipped with many elephants and chariots. General Coenus spoke on army's behalf to the king. Reluctantly, Alexander agreed to stop here. Not too long afterwards Coenus died and the army buried him with the highest honors. The army agrees to march towards south to which they construct a 1,000 ships were constructed to sail home, while battling local villages.

Now the big Finale, his death, he died in 324 BC from what’s to assumed Alcohol poisoning from partying to hard with his bros. He was 33 and conquered the largest amounts of land known at the time.

So, Alexander the Great is a big deal right? Any Military service would kill to have him in their services right? Well wrong, not the good ole USA. Why, you may ask? Well now even though Alexander can be blamed for a widespread of Christianity, education, and other forms of culture as well as just uniting so many people together, he believed in uniting his men with women from other countries. Most of he men were married to women from countries they visited, he actually promoted it, but I’m sorry I’m getting distracted. Back to why the United States would not want him, he was a dirty homosexual, it has been proven through writings that his friend, captain, and body guard Hephaestion, was his greatest emotional relationship with another person. The death of Hephaestion drove Alexander to period of grieving at while visiting his tomb it has been written that he gnarled over the tomb as the same of lost lovers in the means of how his emotional, physical, and vocal portrayals came out. There are other facts and tidbits in Alexander’s life that can point to the fact he was one for homosexual tendencies, and at that time in Greece the practice of homosexual sex was accepted, and was not really that big of a deal, this is why in the history books there are no mentions of his relationships, because the Greeks are too busy preaching about how much a beast he is on the battle field.


Now, it’s 2010 and we can not even have Pop star be famous with out outing them, we as a society do not care about talent we care about petty things in people personal lives. We send our troops across the waters, they fight for our freedom and a terror, but on side we got citizens fighting for freedom of marriage and terrors of unnatural behaviors. A marine is a marine, their rifle is the same as the man next to them, and their uniform is the same from stitch to stitch, and at the end of the day they have a loved one at home laying in a empty bed praying for a safe return.

So here’s my question to society and the DON’T ASK DON’T TELL gang, if a young adult man like Alexander the Great can take over half of Asia and be having an affair with his captain, can’t our troops come from loving relationships or just a lifestyle that fits them best?

Music 101: WTF Dance Videos

I love a good music video, and I love good dance off or dance routine so here is my list of best WTF Dance Videos. This is not some Usher or Lady Gaga videos, no these are pure gold in dance videos and you should watch them all….just sayin’.


Arsonist Get All the Girls-Shoeshine for Neptune

-Who doesn’t love a good romp around a court yard with some demons?

Iwrestledabearonce- You Aint No Family

-You know shit be going down when Krysta comes in!

Tegan and Sara- Alligator
-Epicute (Click here to watch)

Fallout Boy- Dance Dance

-Patrick, I’d dance with you till your feet bleed, and Pete you’ve got some niiiice moves.

Avril Lavigne- Girlfriend

-Avril who knew that you could be so fierce.

Rick Astley- Never Gonna Give You Up
- Aside from the fact that you just got rick rolled, what the fuck is with his dancing?

Denmark

i see you

and i'm on to you.


Just kidding thanks for reading =]

Music 101: Pop Stars

Just a question today: Why are Pop Stars always blonde?











Food for thought?

Music 101: VMAs

So every year in September we sit down glued to our TVs watching the Mtv Video Music Awards, aka the VMAs. And every year I watch it and just sit there the whole time mumbling, so and so should have won or what the hell is this shit, well now thanks to blogger listen to my rants and raves while I watch Air Bud.
Break Through Video:
I agree with them on this the Black Key’s Video for Tighten Up is amazing, it’s simple and tells the story of two boys crushing on their school yard girl, which turns into the band members crushing on the mom of the little girl. Plus, “He smells like ranch!”
Best Special Effects:
Now, Muse won this one and I love me some Muse but their videos are always so over the top for me, their music is epic enough they do not need some crazy video to go with it. And, plus there was some awkward teddy bear stuff going on in the video that just killed it for me that ‘s why I believe that Dan Black’s video Symphonies should have won out of the nominees. The song it’s self is rather simple and then the video portrays different genres of movies and has the lyrics popping up in the different fonts and visuals to go along with the movie genres. The cleverness to the video is really fun and the song is pretty fun as well.
Best Editing:
Lady Gaga raped the VMAs she won pretty much anything and everything including this, Bad Romance is an amazing video but I wouldn’t give best editing to it, after watching Eminem’s Not Afraid I was convinced that it should have won, but then I watched Miike Snow’s Animals video. This video is like a wet dream for any hipster kid, but it’s not just that the editing in it is freaking awesome, the whole video portrays Miike’s identities through animals and such. It’s been done before with different concepts, but it’s still and fun idea and it is different on certain levels so it makes it fun and very well edited. And as for Rihanna’s Rude Boy’s video it should not even be in this category it should be in special effects and even then it shouldn’t be there. I miss when Rihanna was awesome, she starting become like Will I Am, I guess Chris hit her in the head a little too many times….too far?
Best Directing:
Again I agree with this, it’s Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. This video is a master piece, fucking college papers have been written over the video analyzing it, ‘nuff said.
Best Cinematography:
Jay-Z and Alecia Keys straight up captured the essence of New York in their video for Empire State of mind, honestly this video is perfect, you watch it in awe the whole time. Good job Jay-Z for beasting it up like always.
Best Choreography:
I was digging Video Phone and rooting for it just for the fact of how well Lady Gaga took Beyonce’s style and went all bootylicious, and as for Usher all his moves are the same as the late Michael Jackson, and then there’s Telephone which also an amazing feet of dancing and of course the winner Bad Romance, but I disagree, Janelle Monae’s video for Tightrope beats the pants or shoes off everybody in the room. Her foot work looks like she is merely sliding on a floor buttered down, but she does it so smooth and sleek that makes you feel like anyone could do it. She has the funky and soulful feel to her music and dancing, it’s refreshing to see someone bringing back some good ole soul.
Video of the Year:
Bad Romance seriously needs to chill out, this video is like on steroids and raping everyone and anyone at the VMA’s, needless to say it also won Video of the Year, and yet again I disagree. Bad Romance was amazing I couldn’t praise it enough honestly, but when it comes to Lady Gaga videos of last year and what one was the best I’d give it to Telephone. B.o.B and Eminem’s videos are amazing for rap artist but over all they are nothing special, and I can’t even start to watch the 30 Seconds to Mars video because I know it’s going to be 9 minutes of pretentious amazing cinematography, though I did try, was not impressed. If I’m going to watch a 9 minute long video, again I’m going with Telephone. This video is a an epic display of epic-epicness. From beginning to end the video is not only a perfect music video but a perfect form of movie making in general. It tells a story, it’s visually interesting, it has a resolve, it’s entertaining, and makes you want to watch it again. From it’s homage to 50’s stars, to Kill Bill the video is chuck full of cool little things, also Lady Gaga teaches you how to poison people.
Best Rock Video:
The Winner was 30 Seconds to Mars, honestly I hated all the videos nominated. I think Foxy Shazam’s Oh Lord should have won, but it came out in 2010 cross your fingers for next year.
Best Pop Video:
Dear jesus Lady Gaga won this one as well with Bad Romance I’m sure she could feed a whole country just from the money that one song has made. Just because I’m fucking tired of Bad Romance winning everything I’m going with Ke$ha on this one, just for the fact that she wakes up in a bath tub on some suburban family, rides a gold bike, steals a radio from some kids, and then drives around town in a gold Trans Am…what else could you want?
Best Male Video:
Eminem won this round, and out of all the nominees I can see why, for me though if you want to go with best Male Video go check out my Boy Kid Cudi on Pursuit of Happiness, that’s where it’s at.
Best Hip Hop Video:
Eminem has been winning awards for his videos for ever and day, and that’s because they are amazing, but this year I just wasn’t feeling Not Afraid. Like mentioned before, Kid Cudi should be the winner due to the fact he has everything a rap video needs. Booze and women. But, then there’s a nice change, he isn’t objecting the women or being obnoxiously drunk, the whole video is pretty much in slow motion and the way it’s shot is so different and visually interesting compared to most rap videos.
Best Female Video:
Bad Romance…I don’t even care anymore….

Best Dance Video:
Bad Romance…fucking really?! I get it, it’s a great video but chill the fuck out!
Best Collaboration:
Telephone with Lady Gaga and Beyonce, yesyesyesyesyesyes…it’s a perfect collab, the only thing more perfect is Kid Cudi and MGMT. I’m kinda burnt out on talking about Lady Gaga so that is why these post are shorter and shorter.
Best New Artist:
Finally something Lady Gaga can’t win because she already did, so who did it go to….Justin Bieber, fuck that. The past winners of Best New Artist are musicians like: Eminem (1999), Maroon 5 (2004), Arvil Lavigne (2002), do you see something in common with these people? They are talented. They are not just cute and poppy; no they are talented people who have worked hard to get to where they are, and still are working hard to produce new music. When I think of Best New Artist I think of some one that is doing something different to mainstream music, or at least standing out there, Justin Bieber is doing is making the same song that every pop singer is writing aka, the there’s a cute girl I want to date/fuck, that’s their formula. Where will Justin be once his balls drop and he actually starts singing like a man? All he’s done to music is bastardize it even further into a shit state it’s in, and make girls hit puberty faster. He looks like a lesbian, sounds like a lesbian, and even walks like one as well, my theory is he is actually a 30 something year old bull dyke living out every lesbians dream and having all of America wanting your dick….except HE’S 15! Open up Tiger Beat there he is shirtless, FUCK now I’m a pedophile chill out America. And Usher needs to chill out hanging out with young boys like Justin Bieber he’s following a little to close to Michael Jackson’s footsteps. So, who should of won? Broken Bells.